38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
