So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
