you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
