he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
