She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
