1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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