I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
