The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
