Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
