Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
