I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need to stop coming to work sober
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
