Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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