Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
