honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
