he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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