So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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