i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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