i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
