Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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