We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
