That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
