Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
