are you so shy because you have an std?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
