Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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