i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize