Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
