Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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