I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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