I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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