oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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