I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize