Buhtt sex?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize