After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
