I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
