k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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