i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
