I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I would fuck him just for his dog
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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