So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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