im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
