READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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