Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
