THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
