Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
