the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize