You're my little dorito
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
