Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize