I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
