can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
