it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
