I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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