I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
