Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
