i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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