It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
