3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
