It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Boobs are out for the taking
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
