I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
