remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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