You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This show inspires me to have sex in space
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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