im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
