i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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