I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
