I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
