i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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