The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
