I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
