"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I think my moral compass just broke
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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