I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
