Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
