i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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