He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
