can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
