So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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