I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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