nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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