I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Please, let me fuck your mom
he thought i was a dude.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
