how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize