update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
