he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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