Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
