He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
