Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
