I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
