I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
