the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
