I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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