I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize