dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
