I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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