And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
ttyl tear gas
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
