I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize